The end of "our" story...
Who says all fairy tales end with a happy ending?? At least mine don't.
It all started in 2002, sometime where im wrking in a comic shop in a bookstore in Orchard MRT. That's the 1st time we met and purely i got not much impression on him. He's with his 2 frens whereby one of them is my crush. He is my polymate and i got to know him from my year 1 classmate. We get along pretty well. That day, they waited for me to finish wrk and headed to my crush plc for mahjong. Stayed over at his plc for a night as im really very tired. I heard a little bit of their converstaion while resting my eyes, i couldn't realli understand what is their converstaion abt but i think it's abt girls...
The 2nd time i met him is when he brought me to Aranda for a job interview. Still remember clearly that day im having a bad cough, cant really remember how he look like from the last day i met him. Eventually, we met. I was so surprised when he passed me a cough syrup and in fact, im touched. He kept reminding me not to mention anything to my crush as he does not want to be involve in any misunderstanding, and i kept my mouth shut.
The 3rd time i met him is at his birthday chalet. As i do not know him well then, i went ard asking ppl wat he likes and through word-of-mouth from my crush, i know he loves Spiderman. As im the type that love to see the happiness of a person when present is recieved from me. I make sure that the present will realli brighten up a person's day and i definately dislike last min purchases. Therefore, i searched high and low for his present and finally i found one. I gave it to him on that day and he's laughters and smile just cant stop warming my heart with love.
Few months of wrking under the same roof, we got closer. One day, he ask me to be his gf. That time, i just broke off with my bf and am extremely upset. He came, and i was confused. After several consideration, i decided to be with him without knowing much abt his past. I shld have know more abt his past b4 deciding to be with him to avoid any doubts. We started out having many problems and im willing to make changes.
My 1st cry started when he gotten himself into fights in Boat quay. I could sensed something was wrong but he kept insisting to keep me in dark. I saw with my eyes, him being handcuffed with another friend, I was so heart-broken. I keep blaming myself for unable to stop him. I was left alone with his friends whom im not close with.Im afraid and petrified as it's already very late at night. Finally, i found someone who's still awake at that hr and took a cab over to her plc. Meantime, i never msg or call him as i thought he shld be questioned by the police, it's better not to distract him. He called me when everything was over and we headed back to his plc. That night, he was so upset that i nv msg him or call him and feels that i do not cared abt him. I explained while crying and finally he promised me never to get into any fight. Im glad as that is the 1st promise he made to me. For some reasons. my heart is warmed again.
He changed alot for me and we thought that things will soon go smoothly. I start realising that he's still in contact with his ex and a shocking new was received. I found out abt his ex and to some explainations he made, it seems like im the 3rd party between them. He reassured me that he realli had got nothing to do with her and i blindly accepted.
The 1st rose i received is sometimes where im wrking in Raffles City, he's wrking in Suntec. When it's almost time for me to go hm, he popped up and gave me a rose with a cute little bear holding on to a heart. It's so sweet and i love it.
I received a heart-shaped cushion with the word "I Love You" on it. That day, i went to look for him in parkway parade. He gave me a surprise by giving me that cushion. It so sweet and nice and i appreciate that alot. I know at that time, he does not have much money left but in order to buy me that, he borrowed from his friend. I felt bad, so bad.
He told me that he prepared a surprise present for my birthday and due to some problems cropped up, he's unable to collect the present personally. He told me to collect my own present and yes, i did. It was a huge popeye!! My favourite cartoon character... weird right... that's me... It was almost 3/4 the size of me and i carried it hm with the help of huili. Without her, i think it's gonna be a problem for me to carry hm. Nevertheless, I loveee it. I'll hugged it to slp everynite when he's not ard and the warmth of him juz make me feel happy.
To talk abt surprises and presents he gave me, it's countles. Same appiles to me, i gave him all i could in exchange of happiness for him.
We were both happily attached and whatever problems arise between us, i'll try to make up and in the hope he'll be happy. No matter what i do, i just have him in mind - to make him happy. Once, i heard something from him. Someone told him that why everytime i need him to fetch me over to his hse. From that comments on, I never ask him to fetch me over again. I'll go myself, buy breakfast for his family so that he could slp more, do housewrk for him, whatever it is.
Whatever i did, things still swayed between us. Problems between family and friends. He realised that i went out with my ex, but goodness gracious... he is just my friend and at that point of time, he got a gf already. Family problems are the real issues surrounding us.
There are many questions popping in my mind then. I always ask myself " What can i do to make life better for others?" But, if in his mind the question is " What can she do to make my life better?" Then, no matter what i do to change they'll never be satified. Nevertheless, i take it that whatever they want me to change is for the better of me. Appreciated. But i strongly believe that everyone should bear in mind this question. Always ask yourself this question " What can I do to make others happier" . You'll definately make a better life for yourself and your loved ones.
Maybe it's because im tired of trying, maybe it's because i want a test of our relationship. But, im wrong and i failed badly. It's my fault that i let go of this relationship and it's my fault that i told you "we are impossible..." And it's my fault to not know that you actually take it so seriously. Im in the spite of anger and of coz shld words will come out of me but u dun know me well to discover that. Anyway, becoz of that, our 3 and half yr relationship realli put a stop. Im extremely sad to know the reason why u insisted to push me for an answer, knowing that i hate to be forced for a decision. Whatever it is, the reason is that you are planning something ahead for yourself and that path is to be with her. Whatever your reasons are, becoz she's there for u at your lowest point in life, becoz she definately wont betray you, becoz she's willing to go the extra mile for you, all these, have i not done to you? I did more for your information and i shall not elaborate more.
As much as i hate her, as much as i hate you, or rather as much as you hate me as well, im giving you my blessing.
~ The End ~
P.S kindly ask her not to mention anything abt me in her blog. I've never humilate her in mine and i dun see the right for her to do so although it's her blog. But, it's concerning me. Thks.
I'm giving you ATTITUDE /
- 12:32 AM
