Rainy Morning

Saturday already arranged with qiaoyun,simin, con, dar to go sun tanning on sunday morning... But the moment i open my eyes, i saw the sky.... it's Raining!! Spooil all my planning for that day... After confirming with qiaoyun to cancel our appointment, i go back to slp..

Woke up at ard 12pm, rain already stop and con ask if we still meeting him... haha at 1st tot of still going sentosa but then after serious consideration, better not coz the sand will still be wet... Hehe con manage to get his dad car out and he drove us to Orchard for KTV!! So long nv go together with dar to KTV sing liao... KTV pub got lar... but everytime got to wait so long for our turn to sing... Not Shiok leh... this time i sing till i happy.. hehe

Will post pics when dar send it to me... whohoho...
I will plan another sun-tanning session... hopefully this time the weather will not go against my planning....

I'm giving you ATTITUDE /
- 10:34 PM

Broke!!

Juz gotten my pay for only a week and nw it's gone...My goodness... Cant imagine how am i gonna survive the next 3 weeks...I haven been hm for dinner for a long time perhaps i shld come hm for dinner tml so as to save money.

Monday - Treat dar for dinner then proceed for our ice cream and home sweet home

Tuesday - Dar birthday but he insisted that he pay coz he dun wan me to spend so much... hehe so sweet lor... But dar if i dun spend on you, i'll spend alot on myself... haha then maybe end up buying alot on impluse...Went to dar hse 1st coz he need to take something very important... Ate near his place, then home sweet home...

Wednesday - Dar got nights out, intended to meet him in the 1st place but qiaoyun called. She's in orchard, i tot she alone so went ahead to meet her. Kinda afraid Dar will be unhappy coz i last min tell him i'll be meeting qiaoyun. Dar so understanding lor... hehe Not angry at all... We went shopping ard, having no intention of buying anything, ended up spending 50 bucks... hell lor... Shldnt have agreed to meet qiaoyun go shopping. Nevertheless, shopping makes me feel good!!

Thursday - Arrange with qiaoyun for our hair treatment session... paid for qiaoyun cost coz i still owe her money. Home sweet home...

Tml will be meeting dar liao... hehe

Some refelction

Some days ago, i happen to serve this lady - mute and deaf . Upon knowing her disabilities, a sense of respect grows within me. Although i do pity her but it's the courage that she holds earned my respect. While communicating with her, i could feel the difficulties that she'll probably be facing. If she's not born with this disabilities, for people who used to be able to speak to depend on writing on paper to communicate is really tough. Juz 10 minutes of communicating, i really could feel the pain she's going through. It takes alot of patience and strength to hold on and continue living. After serving her, i felt so emotional. Haizzz

We must cherish everyone around us as nobody will knows wat will probably happen to that person the next minutes. Sometimes, it's realli unpredictable.

I'm giving you ATTITUDE /
- 11:16 PM

Happy Birthday Darling!

Hope you enjoy urself yesterday... Was surpose to give you a surprise and treat you to a romantic dinner. End up we ate our usual la mian at crystal jade and ice cream. Im sorry if i've ended up making you unhappy coz sometimes i juz cant help it. It's myself that i cant deceive. You told me that you are happy but i can feel that your heart aint what you feel. I can feel that you hurt deep inside when you know that im thinking of him. Only 1 word im sorry.

I hope i can give the best of wat i can... unfortunately... I doubt so...

Juz a simple wish, hope you could be happy... and hope you like that pendant i get for you.
Will be meeting you soon in a few hrs time...

I'm giving you ATTITUDE /
- 3:48 PM

What a meaningful weekend.

As usual, i got to work on sat till 1pm. Dar came and find me for lunch and after that got to go for driving class... Haha again, as per usual, Dar would wait for me for 1.5 hrs sometimes 2 hrs to finish my driving lesson. Sometimes i really wonder why dar is so patient. I will never be able to wait for a person more then 15 mins... After lesson, i need to go hm change , then proceed to suntec for movie.. hehe weekend movie tickets only 7.50 bucks!! amazing?? I got cheap lobang mah... haha. Watched a 9.45pm X3 and ended ard 1145pm... Suntec having midnite sale!! It's so damn crowded with people and sale all ard... Sales are amazing but the people crowding ard it is toturous. After which, proceeds to Blue, i've been so so long since my last visit there... i think i ard april if im not wrong. Pretty fun with dar ard and that night con's fren is so cute lor... Funny in a sense... I think he's the joke of the night... the way he walk to toilet when he's drunk... My goodness... haha think of it nw really makes me wanna laugh...

Sunday spend in Dar hse... finally managed to get his butt to tidy his room... It's so messy that i spent 2 hrs juz manage to clean his computer table and drawers... Dar there's still more to go ok... Dun worry... I'll make sure everything is clean and tidy with me ard... I simply cant stand untidiness... After i clean up everything, make sure you dun anyhow put your stuff liao hor... Don't worry dar, i dun find it tough or anything. Im realli fine and happy being able to clean up together with you... get to know you more. Dar, if you wanna keep pictures of eve or yiling im actually fine with it. It's memories that shld be kept if you want. In fact, i wanted to continue tidying the other part of the room, but it's dinner time!

Time pass so fast, especially during weekend. Went for dinner with dar family near his hse coffee shop... Nice zi char there... haha Then, it's Home Sweet Home time... and Dar's book in time!!

I'm giving you ATTITUDE /
- 10:16 PM

For Darling.

Dar thanks a lot for everything you did for me and for being my alarm. Im getting so used to hearing your voice every morning, the 1st voice of the day... Hehe realli brighten up my day and ensuring that I climb out of my bed by giving me a 2nd alarm. Haha. You’ve shown great patience and care towards me. Sometimes I vent my temper on you, sometimes I give you cold shoulder, sometimes I do not wish to talk to you, and sometimes I just get irritated easily. You’ve never once throw your temper back at me, nor ignored me. Nevertheless, you showered me with all your love, care and always standing by me whenever I need you.

I told you that I miss him a lot… so much that I’ll cry sometimes and in turn bad mood and vent it on you. Upon knowing this, you still stood by me, although knowing that you might get hurt in the end. You asked me if he doesn’t has a gf would I want to go back to him, my answer is maybe. I know it hurts you a lot but I just do not want to bluff you by saying nice words. In fact, I’ll never forget about him, all my memories with him will stay with me; maybe in a corner of my heart, he’ll still stay. You already know that you will get hurt eventually and being with me only make it better. It’s so unfair to you but you told me countless times that in love, there is no such thing as fairness. You tried your best to make me happy, ensuring that my smile is put on whenever you are with me. I can feel your love by all the small things and the extra mile you go for me. I’m really touched.
I remember asking you “do you think I love you?” Your reply is you think I do. Reason why I asked you is because im really unsure of my feeling for you. I dare not give my all into this relationship anymore after what I did to the previous one. The hurt is unbearable although zepplin’s hurt can never be compared to mine. The pain that I caused on him, im sorry and no matter how hurt he is, I am as well. Sometimes I just feel being alone is so much better, what do you think darling??

I'm giving you ATTITUDE /
- 12:01 AM

Finding trouble for myself

Curiously kills the cat. Some ger out there simply like to comment on other ppl affairs. For god sake, you really got no right to comment so much when you are not me. Who are you to interfer? How could you say i treat my relationship like a game?? I treat all my relationship seriously. I give my all and give him all my best. Doesnt you know that each person endurance limit varies among people? Perhaps you are a princess at hm and are willing to get your hands dirty juz for the word - love. Maybe you want to impress him and his family by doing so and juggling around with his family. How do you know that i did not get my hands dirty? Mine are dirtier. I did all, hoping that things will get better but all seems to go negative. People will never be satisfied enough, always demanding for more. I understand that as these are all human nature. Im unlike you. Love to me is not everything. You say you have all the right to say that, I strongly disagree and you have NO right to comment on me. All you hear are all one-sided story, whatever he told you. Is it fair to me. Dar always told me love is always unfair... Why are you so scared?? You realli afraid he will come back to me?? dun you have the least confidence in him? Becoz of that 4 yrs ago failed relationship with him?? I understand him enough and i will assure to you that we will not be going back together.

If is not becoz i leave him, do you think you got the chance to cen xu er ru? ( I still strongly feel that she cen xu er ru although our relationship is already broken. She must be waiting for this chance for a long time liao.)

For 'You'

'You' say our relationship starts to sway when the 1st lie started. Tell me honestly, have you never lied to me? Are all the things 'you' told me true? I doubt so. 'You' told me that you've never been in contact with her when we are together. 'You' only started contacting her when we broke off. I've seen countless messages from her in your mobile, hoping you will tell me. 'You' never. I stop asking, giving you all my trust and knowing perhaps your conscience is clear. 'You' told her everything about me. Have you ever spare a thought for me? Do you show the least respect to me? It's our relationship, do you think there is a need to tell her everything about me? Whatever i tell you, whatever your mother and your family stress to me. I strongly think you need to ask if i would like her to know. Although our relationship is past, perhaps to you is ok, but im really not feeling good about this. Even when we were together, you never spare a tought for me and stand up for me. I know ur mum likes you to have a gf who is able to take care of you. So am i. I do need a guy who is able to take care of me. It's a both-sided thing. I tried my best to take great care of you, hoping you will be happy but you never seems to satisfied. I cried myself to slp so many times that Im totally numb with that feeling.

I know you hate me alot so do I. For giving me so many wonderful memories followed by a deep scar in my heart.

CAN'T YOU JUST KEEP THINGS TO YOURSELF?? Why do you need to tell her everything?

I give up.

I'm giving you ATTITUDE /
- 11:26 PM